1. If Lebron James was a white guy, he'd be the biggest celebrity in the world. Bigger than Oprah, Bill Gates, Paul McCartney, Will Smith, and Tiger Woods combined divided by Paris Hilton. (My logic is huge celebrity divided by minuscule celebrity is even bigger celebrity. Like 100 divided by .5 is 200. Nevermind.)
2. We probably shouldn't mess with North Korea now. We should mess with that thing called "The United States as a country is stupid as hell".
3. Megan Fox being in Transformers 2 offends me. Not because I think she is a bad actress or something. Because she has no reason to be in the movie. I mean honestly, it's Shia LeBouf's (I can't remember character names) car that's the Transformer. They clearly put her in the movie because she is hot in a Pamela Anderson 1993 type of way. It's 2009. I understand there needs to be a leading lady in every movie to prevent sausage riots but seriously. How does she end up conveniently in the middle of their battles. Serving absolutely no purpose but to be pretty. It annoys me.
4. Thinking about it now, the PS3 is probably never gonna pass XBOX360 or Wii. They basically F'd up like they did with the PSP. The technology is too innovative for people to understand. And once people do understand, other cooler things are in the process of being made. The PS3 and PSP are cool as hell, but not cool as hell enough.
5. Reality shows are popular because most people are stupid as hell. Sad as hell. Stop living your lives and dreams through other people and do it on your own. I'm pretty sure someone like Lauren Conrad from "The Hills" doesn't give a shit about you. And watching her doesn't make your ugly ass any prettier. Your life does not improve by watching those midgets on TLC.
Once can argue that sports are reality TV. So a smart-ass would say that most men must be losers for watching that then. Absolutely not. I'd say men watch sports because they admire the skills of these athletes. Fans understand the complexity of the things these athletes do so they can't help but appreciate their excellence. Plus fans can pick up a baseball or a basketball or whatever. People don't watch sport based on envy or jealously. They don't watch it to see athletes blow up or ruin their lives. People want to see the the people at the highest level of what they do be the best they can be. On the contrary, people watch the show with the family with 18 kids because they are a damn sideshow. When I flip the channels and pass that show, I think, "I'd rather be kicked in the leg by a toddler until it broke than be her vagina." Half the time people watch reality TV because they want to see failure and embarrassment. What viewers don't realize is these people are paid. So no matter how much they look like a clown, they collect checks. While you pay cable and electricity to watch them.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
"Twilight"
The movie has had so much hype the past year (Especially all this "New Moon" excitement), I had to see it for myself. From people (females) loving the movie to "smart, intellectual, bigger people" bashing it, the movie seemed to be pretty polarizing. I can't criticize (or make fun of) something unless I see it myself. Otherwise I'd be an ignorant close-minded asshole. Or a "Conservative". Whatever comes first.
Here are some Observations I made of "Twilight":
(WARNING SPOILERS)
-The random small town in Washington is diverse as hell. That annoys the shit out of me because they're trying too hard to be diverse. I know, the movie would get a ton of backlash if the cast was all white people. It's like reverse-reverse racism or something like that. But honestly that pisses me off because it doesn't seem authentic. Just like that one mediocre Mike Myers (alliteration?) hockey movie with the black guy as a hockey coach. Why don't they come out with a movie with an Asian woman as a CEO. That's realistic. (I'm not a racist. I hate racism. I'm sarcastically pointing out how f'd up society is. I hate that. I also hate when "smarter" people try to play some reverse racism type card and act like they're bigger and understand more. Like that time some random girl called my black friend a racist over some dumb stuff. Then again that girl was stupider than a ham sandwich and is probably busy as hell ho'ing her body around and collecting STD's like they're Pokemon cards and it's the late 90's. How did I get so off topic? Back to observations...
-I never knew vampires lived in luxury. Like seriously. Their house was nice as hell. The dad in the movie must've been like a cosmetic surgeon or the best prostitute east of the Mississippi. There's no way he could afford that as a regular doctor. Then again he must've saved money for the past 200 years. Dude is a vampire right
-I like how the vampires were all paler than pale. But the black vampire wasn't. They made the white vampires look like damn mimes. They could've at least made him Michael Jackson albino status.
-Speaking of ridiculously light skinned vampires, Kristen Stewart is pale as hell. I never read the books so I assumed she'd be a vampire. Instead she is white as hell without the perks. Aside from the fact that she's attractive of course. (More on that in a minute)
-These characters do not look like high school juniors. Especially the main vampire character heartthrob guy. (I forget names. Seriously. Anyone that knows me knows I forget names faster than Wilt Chamberlain forgets women he has boned). My little sister is a high school junior. If those characters look like they are her age, then I can successfully arrange the atoms in my body to walk through walls.
-If these vampires have super strength and speed, why do they drive cars everywhere. Especially the main vampire. When the dude is taking the girl out on those dates, he picks her up. Why? Can't he just fly her there? Why were they concerned about the girl possibly moving to Jacksonville? Dude can use his powers to see her all the time. I mean it ain't like he needs a hotel. He's a damn vampire.
-The scene where the vampires play baseball is probably one of the most retarded things I have ever seen in my life. Of all things for these creatures to do. Baseball? Really? And Muse "Supermassive Black Hole" was playing during the scene. They're my favorite band in the world. It definetly confused me.
-The thing that bothered me the most was when the mother was kidnapped by a damn vampire. Her daughter gets bitten up and shit. After a fight scene that was too short, the bad guy was killed. And in the end, the mother acts like nothing happened. Sure, parents tend to care about the safety of their kids, but wouldn't you be thinking "What the hell happened?"
I know this is an excessively long ass review of the movie. I wouldn't say it's the best movie ever but it definetly isn't the worst one. I'd watch it again no lie. It was pretty well-made. It was fairly interesting and new to me. Females need decent movie series to watch. I mean, dudes are spoiled rotten with flicks. From "Transformers" or Terminator", the list goes on and on with movies, most of them crappy, for large sausage brigades of guys to watch. Females need their own epic movie series and "Twilight" is just that. I'm not a close-minded prick and I understand why this movie is so big. Yes, a large portion of this movie's fans are teeny bopper, pubescent girls. But last time I checked, fans of "Chronicles of Narnia" are middle aged men who live with their moms. To each, their own. I'd just bet my bottom dollar that "Twilight" is better than half these Will Ferrell movies that every dude seems to love. (Talladega Nights reminds me of my root canal)
I'm pretty sure most of the young cast members of "Twilight" will be big timers in Hollywood for years to come. After reading up on her, Stephenie Meyer, the author of the "Twilight" series does not seem like an idiot. As a matter of fact, she happens to be a huge Muse fan. So she's legit in my book. I think that if Kristen Stewart has common sense and doesn't end up a crack whore, she could end up on some Angelina Jolie level stuff. That may be extreme but extreme is my middle name. She doesn't look like a fake plastic doll like Megan Fox, is prettier than say a Hayden Panettiere, and can act better than all these 18-25 year old actresses combined. (See Panic Room, Into the Wild) All these actors and actresses are young as hell and have lots of potential. It's easy to hate on them for bein "pretty boys" or "pretty girls" but just wait. Last time I checked, Sean Penn was the stoner in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". Plus, I'm tired of hearing how Seth Rogen is a great young actor of our generation. Dude looks like he's 35 and is as funny as crapping your pants during a first date. People need to open their eyes more and look around. Don't take anything for granted and think before you judge. You just might realize that "Twilight" ain't bad and Seth Rogen isn't funny.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Derek Jeter, I hate your guts.
I'm going to give credit where credit is due. Dude has had the same haircut his whole career and still gets the ladies. That's like using the same pickup line all the time. Except not. But I still hate Derek Jeter's face. He's lucky he got drafted by the Yankees and not like the Pittsburgh Pirates. Well at least the pirates have a beautiful stadium. For people to watch a crappy team at. At the end of the line, Derek Jeter wins, every other man loses, and the Pittburgh Pirates remain more terrible than the Black Eyed Peas song "I got a feeling". And that's pretty bad.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My shorts are more plaid than yours
Warm weather is here and you know what that means. Going to the beach. Hanging around outside. Baseball, frisbee, and other excellent sports. Girls dressing well, quite possibly more revealing. Hopefully more revealing. Just not slutty. Because that's a pet peeve of mine. Girls outwardly dressing slut-like. A classy sort of revealing. That's the stuff. But yeah, I'm a huge fan of the warm weather. Winter in New York sucks. I thought going to college was going to be a great thing because I wouldn't need to be the dude shoveling large amounts of snow off my randomly wide driveway. But my school is a concrete wasteland. And Snow + Concrete = Slipping more than Eddie Murphy's acting career. Warm weather is a great thing but for every good there's a bad.
Plaid shorts are back. On girls, they look cute and classy. On guys.... They... They just suck. I mean some plaid shorts look good. Especially when matched with outfits that humanly maake sense. But for the most part, plaid shorts make dudes look like aristocratic douches. Or wannabe aristocratic douches. Or idiots. Especially when middle-aged guys wear them. It hurts to see a middle-aged man try to be "in" by wearing plaid shorts. It hurts me more to see a person in their plaid shorts, with a bright, pastel colored shirt, and a random baseball cap. Like seriously, scraping my knee relieves the pain of me seeing someone in that outfit.
I'm not going to lie, I own a couple of plaid shorts. They are rather plain, not some bright-ass, preppy, unnecessary, sweater-tied-around-the-neck type thing. I wear them sparingly, mostly when I feel like they look proper. I mean I'm not the biggest hater of plaid shorts, I've adjusted to it myself. The thing that truly kills me inside is men wearing flip flops.
(Picture randomly taken from Google) These guys sure don't know anything about baseball. How do I know? They are walking in a V-Formation. And they all have flip flops on. And shaved legs. You gotta look good for the game. And wear a hat that has nothing to do with the team solely because it matches your outfit. And wearing long sleeves with shorts make no sense. Mostly because the shorts and flip flops imply that the weather is nice outside. Los Angeles is usually a warm city during baseball season. But there must be an exception. The upper part of their bodies must be cold while the lower part is warm. Which is weird because common science says that warm air rises because it is less dense. So I guess their bodies defy science. So they must be Superman. That makes up for the fact that they know absolutely nothing about baseball and that all Manny Ramirez is to them is that "quirky popular guy that I probably should see".
Unless your toenails are perfectly done and you have feet smoother than Chazz Reinhold in "Wedding Crashers", I beg you to hide your toes. I ain't trying to see some nasty looking contorted toes, or yellow-ass toenails. People with feet that smell like a porn stars ass should be eliminated. I'm not some sort of uber-masculine dude trying to hate on guys. I'm not hating on guys I'm hating on feet. And if a man were to ever choose to expose their feet, they should wear sandals and not flip flops. But that's only worst case scenario like some mayday on a desert island no options or solutions type situation. Flip flops should only be worn at a beach or on the way to a pool. Flip flops to a baseball game? HELL NO! Flip flops to the mall? Only if you're on your way to buy shoes to cover up your nasty-ass feet. But if you do have nice feet that don't smell like Fat Bastard's folds, then go on and wear those flippy floppies.
Plaid shorts are back. On girls, they look cute and classy. On guys.... They... They just suck. I mean some plaid shorts look good. Especially when matched with outfits that humanly maake sense. But for the most part, plaid shorts make dudes look like aristocratic douches. Or wannabe aristocratic douches. Or idiots. Especially when middle-aged guys wear them. It hurts to see a middle-aged man try to be "in" by wearing plaid shorts. It hurts me more to see a person in their plaid shorts, with a bright, pastel colored shirt, and a random baseball cap. Like seriously, scraping my knee relieves the pain of me seeing someone in that outfit.
I'm not going to lie, I own a couple of plaid shorts. They are rather plain, not some bright-ass, preppy, unnecessary, sweater-tied-around-the-neck type thing. I wear them sparingly, mostly when I feel like they look proper. I mean I'm not the biggest hater of plaid shorts, I've adjusted to it myself. The thing that truly kills me inside is men wearing flip flops.
(Picture randomly taken from Google) These guys sure don't know anything about baseball. How do I know? They are walking in a V-Formation. And they all have flip flops on. And shaved legs. You gotta look good for the game. And wear a hat that has nothing to do with the team solely because it matches your outfit. And wearing long sleeves with shorts make no sense. Mostly because the shorts and flip flops imply that the weather is nice outside. Los Angeles is usually a warm city during baseball season. But there must be an exception. The upper part of their bodies must be cold while the lower part is warm. Which is weird because common science says that warm air rises because it is less dense. So I guess their bodies defy science. So they must be Superman. That makes up for the fact that they know absolutely nothing about baseball and that all Manny Ramirez is to them is that "quirky popular guy that I probably should see".Unless your toenails are perfectly done and you have feet smoother than Chazz Reinhold in "Wedding Crashers", I beg you to hide your toes. I ain't trying to see some nasty looking contorted toes, or yellow-ass toenails. People with feet that smell like a porn stars ass should be eliminated. I'm not some sort of uber-masculine dude trying to hate on guys. I'm not hating on guys I'm hating on feet. And if a man were to ever choose to expose their feet, they should wear sandals and not flip flops. But that's only worst case scenario like some mayday on a desert island no options or solutions type situation. Flip flops should only be worn at a beach or on the way to a pool. Flip flops to a baseball game? HELL NO! Flip flops to the mall? Only if you're on your way to buy shoes to cover up your nasty-ass feet. But if you do have nice feet that don't smell like Fat Bastard's folds, then go on and wear those flippy floppies.
Classic songs of the new Millennium: The All-American Rejects "Swing Swing"
I'm not some sort of idiot teeny-bopper. I am in no way a closet emo person or a punk loser annoying hipster asshole. I tend to hate corny, childish, high-school themed music. I believe that most people don't understand or notice the complexities in life until they are about 12-15 years old. So all memories and opinions and beliefs before that are basically from their parents or immediate enviroment. For example, I'm pretty sure a 10 year old can't explain why they'd be a die-hard New York Ranger fan. Maybe it's because the players are tall and look cool as hell. As they grow, the kid realizes how great of a scorer, passer, or defender the player is. I believe the same thing about music. Kids probably like whatever their parents or neighbors like. They don't understand the lyricism or the craziness of the music or beat. Unless they are a genius superchild. But once they reach that point, around 12-15 years old, children create their own identities. They have the intelligence to come up with conclusions and opinions. That's probably why scientists call it puberty. Enough with the philosophical talk. My point is, I was 12 years old in the year 2000. So I guess could say, my whole developed life has been i n the new millenium. With that, I infer that I'd be good at judging the music, trends, and culture of the past 9 years.
A close-minded idiot minded idiot might judge me as a wuss or punk for liking this song. Or a person that is too hip and cool for society might think I'm a sell-out loser. That's totally cool; I can stand the heat so I stay in the kitchen. The All-American Rejects made "Swing Swing" as teens. They aren't Jimi Hendrix so it ain't like the best guitar playing in the world. As a matter of fact, the song was so simple to play, that a novice guitar player like me picked up on it in an hour or so. The lyrics are fairly simple and high school poetry-ish. Can't blame them because the dudes were like 18 when they made it. But that's what makes the song so good in my eyes. It isn't complex or crazy or unique as hell. Probably because there's a ton of bands that copy the hell out of The All-American Rejects now.
2003 was a year or hip-hop/r&b/rap music. I don't know if you remember, but the biggest hits of the time were Beyonce "Crazy in Love", 50 Cent "In Da Club", and the pedophile R. Kelly "Ignition Remix". Of course there were many rock songs out. But they were mainly alternative from bands like Evanescence and 3 Doors Down. Now I'm talking about mainstream music of course so I don't want to hear no "Wow this kid is a pop-tart". I'm sorry I live in common American society. Anyways, music 2003 is clearly different from current music. That is, until The All-American Rejects came through with "Swing Swing". Like I said, the song is simple as hell. But it's still awesome.
The song basically started up the whole "emo/punkpop/whatever the hell you call it" being cool trend. True bands like Dashboard Confessional existed. But their riffs weren't catchy and their singer is a complete baby. Sure Tyson Ritter, the lead singer of The All-American Rejects has a bad, whiny sounding singing voice. But it sure compliments the tone of the song. The whole emo-ness and sadness of the song is pretty perfect for a high school kid right. Well whoop-de-doo, I was a high school kid then. I can't think of any type of pop-emo/pop-punk music that was popular before this. I can't even say Blink-182; their songs were pop-punkish, but their songs weren't emo as hell and their instrumentals are a lot more complex than The All-American Rejects. Plus, Blink 182 had a "harder" image, with tattoos and spiky hair. The All-American Rejects had that then-weird casual style goin for them. All in all, the song "Swing Swing" is catchy as hell, with a memorable chorus to the song. You can't forget the singer's whiny voice. The guitar solo, while simple, was the type that evoked a thought of, "wow these kids don't play guitar crazy well, but they sure are sad". Ain't that what music is supposed to do? Stimulate the senses? No matter how corny or terrible the song is, you have to admit the song fits together very well and achieves the goal it had.
But like I said, the song was one of the first of it's genre. Soon enough, similar genre bands like Yellowcard and Fall Out Boy would become mainstream. And it seems like this genre of emo-pop-punksih music is taking over. Especially with wannabe All-American Rejects bands such as Boys Like Girls and We The Kings. You could probably even argue that the ascent of The All-American Rejects led to the popularity of the Jonas Brothers. Maybe we should go back in time and eliminate them before their could've started this movement. I'm kidding. I'd only go back in time to stop Fall Out Boy because they're super wack. The only difference is between these new bands and The All-American Rejects is, no matter how catchy or whiny or crazy they make their songs, they'll never make anything good as the original, "Swing Swing".
There will be more Classic Songs of the new Millennium but here's the 1st entry, The All-American Rejects "Swing Swing"
A close-minded idiot minded idiot might judge me as a wuss or punk for liking this song. Or a person that is too hip and cool for society might think I'm a sell-out loser. That's totally cool; I can stand the heat so I stay in the kitchen. The All-American Rejects made "Swing Swing" as teens. They aren't Jimi Hendrix so it ain't like the best guitar playing in the world. As a matter of fact, the song was so simple to play, that a novice guitar player like me picked up on it in an hour or so. The lyrics are fairly simple and high school poetry-ish. Can't blame them because the dudes were like 18 when they made it. But that's what makes the song so good in my eyes. It isn't complex or crazy or unique as hell. Probably because there's a ton of bands that copy the hell out of The All-American Rejects now.
2003 was a year or hip-hop/r&b/rap music. I don't know if you remember, but the biggest hits of the time were Beyonce "Crazy in Love", 50 Cent "In Da Club", and the pedophile R. Kelly "Ignition Remix". Of course there were many rock songs out. But they were mainly alternative from bands like Evanescence and 3 Doors Down. Now I'm talking about mainstream music of course so I don't want to hear no "Wow this kid is a pop-tart". I'm sorry I live in common American society. Anyways, music 2003 is clearly different from current music. That is, until The All-American Rejects came through with "Swing Swing". Like I said, the song is simple as hell. But it's still awesome.
The song basically started up the whole "emo/punkpop/whatever the hell you call it" being cool trend. True bands like Dashboard Confessional existed. But their riffs weren't catchy and their singer is a complete baby. Sure Tyson Ritter, the lead singer of The All-American Rejects has a bad, whiny sounding singing voice. But it sure compliments the tone of the song. The whole emo-ness and sadness of the song is pretty perfect for a high school kid right. Well whoop-de-doo, I was a high school kid then. I can't think of any type of pop-emo/pop-punk music that was popular before this. I can't even say Blink-182; their songs were pop-punkish, but their songs weren't emo as hell and their instrumentals are a lot more complex than The All-American Rejects. Plus, Blink 182 had a "harder" image, with tattoos and spiky hair. The All-American Rejects had that then-weird casual style goin for them. All in all, the song "Swing Swing" is catchy as hell, with a memorable chorus to the song. You can't forget the singer's whiny voice. The guitar solo, while simple, was the type that evoked a thought of, "wow these kids don't play guitar crazy well, but they sure are sad". Ain't that what music is supposed to do? Stimulate the senses? No matter how corny or terrible the song is, you have to admit the song fits together very well and achieves the goal it had.
But like I said, the song was one of the first of it's genre. Soon enough, similar genre bands like Yellowcard and Fall Out Boy would become mainstream. And it seems like this genre of emo-pop-punksih music is taking over. Especially with wannabe All-American Rejects bands such as Boys Like Girls and We The Kings. You could probably even argue that the ascent of The All-American Rejects led to the popularity of the Jonas Brothers. Maybe we should go back in time and eliminate them before their could've started this movement. I'm kidding. I'd only go back in time to stop Fall Out Boy because they're super wack. The only difference is between these new bands and The All-American Rejects is, no matter how catchy or whiny or crazy they make their songs, they'll never make anything good as the original, "Swing Swing".
There will be more Classic Songs of the new Millennium but here's the 1st entry, The All-American Rejects "Swing Swing"
Monday, June 1, 2009
Watch Conan or else
I've always been a fan of late night talk shows. I admire hosts like Letterman or Leno or any of them. It takes a lot of guts to stand up and say jokes to random audiences. Interviewing celebrities must be a crazy thing; I'm sure I'd be nervous as hell if I had to interview say a Chris Brown. I mean the dude might just beat my head in. Thank God I'm not an attractive woman. Anyways, I'd truly be in awe if I had to interview a Martin Scorsese, Tom Hanks type of person. Those are legitimate Hollywood types. And don't even get me started on the possibility of interviewing someone like Kate Beckinsale. I'd be so nervous that I'd be quieter than A-Rod in the postseason. These talk show hosts are the equivalent to Broadway actors to me. They do it, they do it right, and they do it on the spot.
While I enjoy all late night talk shows, Conan O'Brien touches the soft spot of my otherwise rugged, superstrong heart. The guy represents every single smart alec geek in America. Smart alec geek's made the world what is today. Using my logic, that implies that Conan O'Brien is the King of the world. To shortly sum up his life, Conan graduated from Harvard, became a television writer for shows like The Simpsons, and quickly ascended to replace David Letterman on NBC late nights. His quirky humor is hilarious and silly. The thing that I like the most about him is that he seems like a normal human being I can relate to. He occasionally gets nervous and shaky to celebrities. There's often moments of silence or awkwardness. I find that more real than a host interviewing a celebrity smoothly. It's almost as if they're friends engaging in conversation and that seems sort of fraudulent to me. With Conan, you are almost assured of a moment where you think, "Damn that's awkward". Conan is just being himself and that's awesome. Conan is smart and witty as hell. He connects with fans of silly humor. He relates to all the "geeks" and all the "losers". And trust me, there's a HUGE amount of losers in our society. World of Warcraft is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. Plus, Conan is responsible for the rise of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you don't know what that is, watch this clip which is one of the funniest things ever to be shown on a television.
Just watch Conan. It's totally cool if you don't agree with me. It probably means that your type of humor is the misfortunes of middle-class America. And that makes you a douche. Or John McCain.
http://www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/
While I enjoy all late night talk shows, Conan O'Brien touches the soft spot of my otherwise rugged, superstrong heart. The guy represents every single smart alec geek in America. Smart alec geek's made the world what is today. Using my logic, that implies that Conan O'Brien is the King of the world. To shortly sum up his life, Conan graduated from Harvard, became a television writer for shows like The Simpsons, and quickly ascended to replace David Letterman on NBC late nights. His quirky humor is hilarious and silly. The thing that I like the most about him is that he seems like a normal human being I can relate to. He occasionally gets nervous and shaky to celebrities. There's often moments of silence or awkwardness. I find that more real than a host interviewing a celebrity smoothly. It's almost as if they're friends engaging in conversation and that seems sort of fraudulent to me. With Conan, you are almost assured of a moment where you think, "Damn that's awkward". Conan is just being himself and that's awesome. Conan is smart and witty as hell. He connects with fans of silly humor. He relates to all the "geeks" and all the "losers". And trust me, there's a HUGE amount of losers in our society. World of Warcraft is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. Plus, Conan is responsible for the rise of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you don't know what that is, watch this clip which is one of the funniest things ever to be shown on a television.
Just watch Conan. It's totally cool if you don't agree with me. It probably means that your type of humor is the misfortunes of middle-class America. And that makes you a douche. Or John McCain.
http://www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/
Bahrain World Trade Center
I have no idea how these Middle-Eastern countries afford this *cough*Oil*cough*Cheap Labor*cough*Crazy imperial leaders trying to prove a point to Western Society*cough*, but they sure make some fantastic architecture. Granted, it ain't like the ruler of Bahrain or Dubai or whatever country directly designs these buildings. But they have some balls to allow innovation and artistry and uniqueness to skyscrapers. These Middle Eastern rulers put a ton of money into these projects, sometimes to a fault. For example, many construction projects in Dubai have slowed to a halt. The recession sucks. If you don't know what or where Dubai is, you probably aren't leaving suburbia any time soon. Anyways, Dubai is basically an up and coming metropolis in the middle east, just like Bahrain. Except it's developed already. I'd like to rant more about Dubai and its crazy buildings but you can check them out yourself. I'd recommend checking out the Burj Al Arab or the Burj Dubai.
Back to the main topic, the Bahrain World Trade Center is currently the coolest building in the world. Even though the building has been open for a year, it hasn't received huge mainstream attention like buildings such as the Freedom Tower (being built on the World Trade Center site). If you look at the picture, you can infer that there are three wind turbines connecting the two buildings. The buildings are shapes to promote wind entry to the turbines. The turbines help power the skyscraper. This is the first skyscraper to incorporate wind turbines and many more will be built in the future. If you don't think that is awesome, you probably have worst taste than a porn star. The building is simply beautiful and is a testament to modern architecture and engineering. They go hard in the Middle East and it's time for more than just architecture junkies and smart people to take notice.
Music common sense
It seems as if a large portion of American society has no common sense when it comes to music. In fact, after 25 years of scientific research, I can confidently state that people like music based on the artists reputation, instead of the content itself. Granted, it takes a ton of effort and achievements to gain a great reputation. That does not mean you should resort to being a lazy clown after success. I was always told to aim high, go for it all, never slow down or quit, and work hard. Essentially always strive for something better. It seems like the human thing to do. Eminem has done the exact opposite. After beginning his career with great, thoughtful, and catchy music, Eminem has gone to the dark side. His new half-assed music sucks more than Hoover vacuums. And that's a lot, NOBODY does it like Hoover. Anyways, it isn't Marshall Mathers' fault that his music sucks. He's old as hell now and hadn't released an album in a couple of years. Plus, we've all known that his first singles are gimmicky and silly. (My Name Is, The Real Slim Shady, Without Me, etc). So what bothers me?
I've always been an Eminem fan since I was that little kid listening to "My Name Is" thinking "Oh my God he is so funny cursing and making fun of people!". His music reached an obvious peak about 9 years ago and it has been all downhill since. It doesn't bother me at all since he is older and probably/hopefully has much more things on his plate than simply music. The thing that is troublesome is the fans.
Are people stupid? My mom has always thought so. She's probably right. How else can you explain people loving Eminem's new music? He must be a witch or something. Dude was flying through his "The Way I Am" video. I swear that it wasn't CGI or Green Screen. He must be an actual witch with the power to get suburbanites to love his music. I won't even use the White-Card on this one. When 50 Cent released "Candy Shop", that song went to #1. That song was the worst piece of garbage in the history of the world. Until Eminem came out with "We Made You". Miraculously, that song reached top 10 status in the US. When I hear that song, I want to insert a power drill in my ear to alleviate the pain. Continuing with my theme, it's not Eminem's fault that the song was so popular. People are dumb as hell. That's the cause of all of society's problems but I'll elaborate on this specific instance of human stupidity even more.
So what is so good about "We Made You"? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The song has terribly corny lyrics. The voice/flow that Eminem uses is more of a nuisance than cleaning rain gutters. The beat isn't even catchy in any way shape or form. It sounds like Dr.Dre, a human legend, intentionally gave Eminem a clown beat. That's like 1st degree premeditated Corn attack. Except Eminem gladly accepted it. So it was consensual. Eminem should be punished anyways for releasing this song. He should be forced to rap in a normal human talking voice instead of his whiny, weird, shriek-death-chant. I'm not mad at Eminem though.
I watched a performance of "We Made You" on Youtube and saw the most appalling thing I've seen since the time I watched the Oakland A's hit. I saw the crowd move around to the beat. Dancing. Bopping their heads. Grooving to it. HOW CAN A HUMAN BEING POSSIBLY FIND THAT SONG APPEALING TO DANCE TO? That saddened me more than the end of the movie "Gran Torino" (CLINT EASTWOOD GETS SHOT BY THE ASIAN GANGBANGERS) Whoops, sorry to ruin that. Anyways, I am depressed to live in a society where humans, my peers, my fellow earth citizens, feel like they can dance to that song. Dancing to that song is more wrong than Mo Williams when he said the Cavs were going to win the series against the Magic. You cannot possibly dance to "We Made You". The beat is more conducive to acquiring hepatitis than it is to making your hips move.
People like that song because of Eminem's reputation as "The Greatest Rapper Alive". I'd love to blame the media and MTV. Ultimately, you gotta blame the consumers. I mean honestly, Eminem can release a compilation of his greatest shits and it'd sell 10 times more than an actual good artist like Kenna. It's the same with 50 Cent and the hideous "Candy Shop". His reputation with classics like "In Da Club" preceded him and led to an easy track to his next number one. In the end, Eminem and 50 Cent get paid the big bucks. Society loses again. And its our fault.
50 Cent Drives a Rolls Royce Phantom. Thats like one of his 3498390454 cars. Thanks for giving him the money for it idiots!
The lesson is to use your judgment and common sense when listening to music. If you want to dance, you can never go wrong with Lady Gaga or Sean Paul. If you want to feel depressed or mellow or whatever you call it, Radiohead is probably the elixir. And finally, if you want to take a crap, just listen to Eminem's voice. It's the best laxative around with no side effects
Warning: Do not watch if you have loose bowels. Unless you have a towel handy then that's totally supercool
I've always been an Eminem fan since I was that little kid listening to "My Name Is" thinking "Oh my God he is so funny cursing and making fun of people!". His music reached an obvious peak about 9 years ago and it has been all downhill since. It doesn't bother me at all since he is older and probably/hopefully has much more things on his plate than simply music. The thing that is troublesome is the fans.
Are people stupid? My mom has always thought so. She's probably right. How else can you explain people loving Eminem's new music? He must be a witch or something. Dude was flying through his "The Way I Am" video. I swear that it wasn't CGI or Green Screen. He must be an actual witch with the power to get suburbanites to love his music. I won't even use the White-Card on this one. When 50 Cent released "Candy Shop", that song went to #1. That song was the worst piece of garbage in the history of the world. Until Eminem came out with "We Made You". Miraculously, that song reached top 10 status in the US. When I hear that song, I want to insert a power drill in my ear to alleviate the pain. Continuing with my theme, it's not Eminem's fault that the song was so popular. People are dumb as hell. That's the cause of all of society's problems but I'll elaborate on this specific instance of human stupidity even more.
So what is so good about "We Made You"? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The song has terribly corny lyrics. The voice/flow that Eminem uses is more of a nuisance than cleaning rain gutters. The beat isn't even catchy in any way shape or form. It sounds like Dr.Dre, a human legend, intentionally gave Eminem a clown beat. That's like 1st degree premeditated Corn attack. Except Eminem gladly accepted it. So it was consensual. Eminem should be punished anyways for releasing this song. He should be forced to rap in a normal human talking voice instead of his whiny, weird, shriek-death-chant. I'm not mad at Eminem though.
I watched a performance of "We Made You" on Youtube and saw the most appalling thing I've seen since the time I watched the Oakland A's hit. I saw the crowd move around to the beat. Dancing. Bopping their heads. Grooving to it. HOW CAN A HUMAN BEING POSSIBLY FIND THAT SONG APPEALING TO DANCE TO? That saddened me more than the end of the movie "Gran Torino" (CLINT EASTWOOD GETS SHOT BY THE ASIAN GANGBANGERS) Whoops, sorry to ruin that. Anyways, I am depressed to live in a society where humans, my peers, my fellow earth citizens, feel like they can dance to that song. Dancing to that song is more wrong than Mo Williams when he said the Cavs were going to win the series against the Magic. You cannot possibly dance to "We Made You". The beat is more conducive to acquiring hepatitis than it is to making your hips move.
People like that song because of Eminem's reputation as "The Greatest Rapper Alive". I'd love to blame the media and MTV. Ultimately, you gotta blame the consumers. I mean honestly, Eminem can release a compilation of his greatest shits and it'd sell 10 times more than an actual good artist like Kenna. It's the same with 50 Cent and the hideous "Candy Shop". His reputation with classics like "In Da Club" preceded him and led to an easy track to his next number one. In the end, Eminem and 50 Cent get paid the big bucks. Society loses again. And its our fault.
50 Cent Drives a Rolls Royce Phantom. Thats like one of his 3498390454 cars. Thanks for giving him the money for it idiots!The lesson is to use your judgment and common sense when listening to music. If you want to dance, you can never go wrong with Lady Gaga or Sean Paul. If you want to feel depressed or mellow or whatever you call it, Radiohead is probably the elixir. And finally, if you want to take a crap, just listen to Eminem's voice. It's the best laxative around with no side effects
Warning: Do not watch if you have loose bowels. Unless you have a towel handy then that's totally supercool
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Baseball Caps
I'm sure there are many true baseball fans out there. Player salaries are ridiculously high so that money has to come from somewhere right? Enough people buy random $200 jerseys with a team name and crappy fabric to help pay Alex Rodriguez's ridiculous $30,000,000 a year salary. The Yankees have their own channel and FOX paid MLB billions to show their games.
I admit, many teams have really nice colors. Nobody can mess with the Yankees colors (Navy Blue and White). Teams have really cool merchandise to connect with fans. However, there is one thing that polarizes me. (I'm not sure if polarize is the right word but I want to give the illusion that I'm an intelligent scholar so leave me alone)
BASEBALL CAPS.
What is the best way fans connect to their team? I'm pretty sure it isn't bobblehead dolls. If you are a fan who connects to say Hanley Ramirez through his bobblehead doll, you probably play chess against your G.I. Joe doll but the game always ends in a stalemate. Anyways, baseball caps are probably the best way to connect with a team. Hats are a universal part of society. They basically always look good. The fitted ones feel really good on your head. If you are balding or at striaght up Bruce Willis level, then the hat is a disguise that directs attention away from your empty-ass scalp.
I'm pretty sure that the majority of baseball cap wearers are at the very least, casual fans of the team. However nothing annoys me more than when people wear a baseball cap not for the team, but because it "looks good" on them. Or because the colors match their clothing. I hate to sound like a super serious sports fan but this whole fad of wearing baseball caps for the colors annoy me. Especially in my school. I'm not sure if this is a natural trend because I'm busy doing actual useful stuff and being comfortable within myself, but I have noticed many, MANY people in my school wear the same white shirt, basketball shorts, and a fitted baseball cap. That's TOTALLY fine. It's OK to dress however you want to dress. It just kills me when I see damn near everyone wearing the same outfit. Maybe it's a Long Island thing. It probably isn't because everything bad in the world is a Long Island thing.
Like I said, it's completely OK to wear fitted hats. The thing that irks me is when you see someone wear a random one. Being in New York, I'd expect to see a Yankee or Met or even a Red Sox hat. But when I see a kid in a Nationals hat with matching red shoes, my heart explodes inside of me. I hope in my mind, "God I hope that kid is a Ryan Zimmerman fan". I'm pretty sure a large portion to all of the kids in random hats know nothing about the team. Trust me I've had experience. Many a time I've talked to kids in random team hats about the team they're "repping". Like the time I saw a kid in a Colorado Rockie hat and I egged him on about the 2007 World Series. He knew NOTHING about the Rockies. But he did know how to match clothes. I'll give him that
I'm not only judging random kids who wear hats of teams they know nothing about. Many people in the "fashion" world wear fitted hats. And by many people, I mean rappers.
I'm a huge Oakland A's fan. I want to have a discussion with Fabolous about our current hitting woes and possible solutions. I mean we have pretty good pitching and great prospects like Trevor Cahill and Brett Anderson. I'd bet 10,000,000 simoleons that Fabolous had no idea what I'm talking about. But his hat does match his green and yellow jacket!
Pointing out how random baseball caps annoy me may sound tedious or crazy but think of it this way. Physics is tedious and crazy. Physics is essentially the base of our modern world. Me pointing out the ridiculousness of these people wearing these caps is the base of our world. God bless America.
I admit, many teams have really nice colors. Nobody can mess with the Yankees colors (Navy Blue and White). Teams have really cool merchandise to connect with fans. However, there is one thing that polarizes me. (I'm not sure if polarize is the right word but I want to give the illusion that I'm an intelligent scholar so leave me alone)
BASEBALL CAPS.
What is the best way fans connect to their team? I'm pretty sure it isn't bobblehead dolls. If you are a fan who connects to say Hanley Ramirez through his bobblehead doll, you probably play chess against your G.I. Joe doll but the game always ends in a stalemate. Anyways, baseball caps are probably the best way to connect with a team. Hats are a universal part of society. They basically always look good. The fitted ones feel really good on your head. If you are balding or at striaght up Bruce Willis level, then the hat is a disguise that directs attention away from your empty-ass scalp.
I'm pretty sure that the majority of baseball cap wearers are at the very least, casual fans of the team. However nothing annoys me more than when people wear a baseball cap not for the team, but because it "looks good" on them. Or because the colors match their clothing. I hate to sound like a super serious sports fan but this whole fad of wearing baseball caps for the colors annoy me. Especially in my school. I'm not sure if this is a natural trend because I'm busy doing actual useful stuff and being comfortable within myself, but I have noticed many, MANY people in my school wear the same white shirt, basketball shorts, and a fitted baseball cap. That's TOTALLY fine. It's OK to dress however you want to dress. It just kills me when I see damn near everyone wearing the same outfit. Maybe it's a Long Island thing. It probably isn't because everything bad in the world is a Long Island thing.
Like I said, it's completely OK to wear fitted hats. The thing that irks me is when you see someone wear a random one. Being in New York, I'd expect to see a Yankee or Met or even a Red Sox hat. But when I see a kid in a Nationals hat with matching red shoes, my heart explodes inside of me. I hope in my mind, "God I hope that kid is a Ryan Zimmerman fan". I'm pretty sure a large portion to all of the kids in random hats know nothing about the team. Trust me I've had experience. Many a time I've talked to kids in random team hats about the team they're "repping". Like the time I saw a kid in a Colorado Rockie hat and I egged him on about the 2007 World Series. He knew NOTHING about the Rockies. But he did know how to match clothes. I'll give him that
I'm not only judging random kids who wear hats of teams they know nothing about. Many people in the "fashion" world wear fitted hats. And by many people, I mean rappers.
I'm a huge Oakland A's fan. I want to have a discussion with Fabolous about our current hitting woes and possible solutions. I mean we have pretty good pitching and great prospects like Trevor Cahill and Brett Anderson. I'd bet 10,000,000 simoleons that Fabolous had no idea what I'm talking about. But his hat does match his green and yellow jacket!
Pointing out how random baseball caps annoy me may sound tedious or crazy but think of it this way. Physics is tedious and crazy. Physics is essentially the base of our modern world. Me pointing out the ridiculousness of these people wearing these caps is the base of our world. God bless America.
Yes/No: 1st edition
This game is quite simple... I'm not going to explain it to you because if you don't get it, you probably sing a song to remember how to tie your shoes. And that's me being nice too..
Kanye West / Jay-Z?
YES!
Flo-Rida?
NO!
Alex Rodriguez (And his steroid-flavored pink lip gloss)?
NO!
Albert Pujols?
YES!
Minka Kelly?
YES!
Megan Fox?
HELL YES!
If you thought I'd say no to Megan Fox then you must be a fan of deductive reasoning and patterns. Or stupid as hell. The day I say no to Megan Fox is the day I turn this blog into a Scientology fansite. And if that day ever happens, please dropkick me in the nose, wait for the swelling to go down, and dropkick me again.
Kanye West / Jay-Z?
YES!
Flo-Rida?
NO!
Alex Rodriguez (And his steroid-flavored pink lip gloss)?
NO!
Albert Pujols?
YES!
Minka Kelly?
YES!
Megan Fox?
HELL YES!
If you thought I'd say no to Megan Fox then you must be a fan of deductive reasoning and patterns. Or stupid as hell. The day I say no to Megan Fox is the day I turn this blog into a Scientology fansite. And if that day ever happens, please dropkick me in the nose, wait for the swelling to go down, and dropkick me again.
What is art?
Is this art? What is art? This is me trying to create an Andy Warhol-type piece. Thank God that isn't me in the picture... Anyways, what is art? I see random squiggly lines sometimes and people consider that to be art. I consider it to be random squiggly lines. I mean, some of the "art" looks eccentric and flamboyant. I think outrageous is the proper word. My vocabulary is limited. But yeah, some of those pieces look real good. I go to school in SUNY Albany and the whole school is literally a cement block. The downtown part of the city has a place known as Empire State Plaza. In that vast, also concrete, government area, lies many random piece of contorted metal, bright colors, and seemingly random pictures of splattered paint. That can't be art right?
Wikipedia states that art is, "...the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions." Wikipedia is definitely correct about its definition of art because it is a legitimate website based on research and peer review. So art is something that is aesthetically pleasing. Isn't that essentially what Wiki is saying? Honestly, any bright random color would appeal to the senses. It would make you think "Wow that's so outlandish I must pay attention!". Is art a stimulant? It appeals to the senses and emotions. It elicits a reaction of happiness or sadness or interest. Drugs do that too. Drugs aren't art. At least not until hipsters declare it to be.
I made that randomly colored piece of "Art". I think it's trippy as hell and looks cool. Does that make it art? I look at the stars sometimes and think that they're awesome. Is that art? So I guess art HAS to be man-made. I want to hear an argument stating that a bent tree is art. I enjoy listening to nonsense because it makes me feel smarter. I guess art is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. I'm the biggest holder around. That shit is not art.
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