"Twilight"

The movie has had so much hype the past year (Especially all this "New Moon" excitement), I had to see it for myself. From people (females) loving the movie to "smart, intellectual, bigger people" bashing it, the movie seemed to be pretty polarizing. I can't criticize (or make fun of) something unless I see it myself. Otherwise I'd be an ignorant close-minded asshole. Or a "Conservative". Whatever comes first.

Here are some Observations I made of "Twilight":

(WARNING SPOILERS)
-The random small town in Washington is diverse as hell. That annoys the shit out of me because they're trying too hard to be diverse. I know, the movie would get a ton of backlash if the cast was all white people. It's like reverse-reverse racism or something like that. But honestly that pisses me off because it doesn't seem authentic. Just like that one mediocre Mike Myers (alliteration?) hockey movie with the black guy as a hockey coach. Why don't they come out with a movie with an Asian woman as a CEO. That's realistic. (I'm not a racist. I hate racism. I'm sarcastically pointing out how f'd up society is. I hate that. I also hate when "smarter" people try to play some reverse racism type card and act like they're bigger and understand more. Like that time some random girl called my black friend a racist over some dumb stuff. Then again that girl was stupider than a ham sandwich and is probably busy as hell ho'ing her body around and collecting STD's like they're Pokemon cards and it's the late 90's. How did I get so off topic? Back to observations...

-I never knew vampires lived in luxury. Like seriously. Their house was nice as hell. The dad in the movie must've been like a cosmetic surgeon or the best prostitute east of the Mississippi. There's no way he could afford that as a regular doctor. Then again he must've saved money for the past 200 years. Dude is a vampire right

-I like how the vampires were all paler than pale. But the black vampire wasn't. They made the white vampires look like damn mimes. They could've at least made him Michael Jackson albino status.

-Speaking of ridiculously light skinned vampires, Kristen Stewart is pale as hell. I never read the books so I assumed she'd be a vampire. Instead she is white as hell without the perks. Aside from the fact that she's attractive of course. (More on that in a minute)

-These characters do not look like high school juniors. Especially the main vampire character heartthrob guy. (I forget names. Seriously. Anyone that knows me knows I forget names faster than Wilt Chamberlain forgets women he has boned). My little sister is a high school junior. If those characters look like they are her age, then I can successfully arrange the atoms in my body to walk through walls.

-If these vampires have super strength and speed, why do they drive cars everywhere. Especially the main vampire. When the dude is taking the girl out on those dates, he picks her up. Why? Can't he just fly her there? Why were they concerned about the girl possibly moving to Jacksonville? Dude can use his powers to see her all the time. I mean it ain't like he needs a hotel. He's a damn vampire.

-The scene where the vampires play baseball is probably one of the most retarded things I have ever seen in my life. Of all things for these creatures to do. Baseball? Really? And Muse "Supermassive Black Hole" was playing during the scene. They're my favorite band in the world. It definetly confused me.

-The thing that bothered me the most was when the mother was kidnapped by a damn vampire. Her daughter gets bitten up and shit. After a fight scene that was too short, the bad guy was killed. And in the end, the mother acts like nothing happened. Sure, parents tend to care about the safety of their kids, but wouldn't you be thinking "What the hell happened?"

I know this is an excessively long ass review of the movie. I wouldn't say it's the best movie ever but it definetly isn't the worst one. I'd watch it again no lie. It was pretty well-made. It was fairly interesting and new to me. Females need decent movie series to watch. I mean, dudes are spoiled rotten with flicks. From "Transformers" or Terminator", the list goes on and on with movies, most of them crappy, for large sausage brigades of guys to watch. Females need their own epic movie series and "Twilight" is just that. I'm not a close-minded prick and I understand why this movie is so big. Yes, a large portion of this movie's fans are teeny bopper, pubescent girls. But last time I checked, fans of "Chronicles of Narnia" are middle aged men who live with their moms. To each, their own. I'd just bet my bottom dollar that "Twilight" is better than half these Will Ferrell movies that every dude seems to love. (Talladega Nights reminds me of my root canal)

I'm pretty sure most of the young cast members of "Twilight" will be big timers in Hollywood for years to come. After reading up on her, Stephenie Meyer, the author of the "Twilight" series does not seem like an idiot. As a matter of fact, she happens to be a huge Muse fan. So she's legit in my book. I think that if Kristen Stewart has common sense and doesn't end up a crack whore, she could end up on some Angelina Jolie level stuff. That may be extreme but extreme is my middle name. She doesn't look like a fake plastic doll like Megan Fox, is prettier than say a Hayden Panettiere, and can act better than all these 18-25 year old actresses combined. (See Panic Room, Into the Wild) All these actors and actresses are young as hell and have lots of potential. It's easy to hate on them for bein "pretty boys" or "pretty girls" but just wait. Last time I checked, Sean Penn was the stoner in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". Plus, I'm tired of hearing how Seth Rogen is a great young actor of our generation. Dude looks like he's 35 and is as funny as crapping your pants during a first date. People need to open their eyes more and look around. Don't take anything for granted and think before you judge. You just might realize that "Twilight" ain't bad and Seth Rogen isn't funny.